Over the course of my time in varying appointments, I never really had a plan so to speak. I just kind of went in listened and preached. I lead bible study, shared at meetings, did visits etc. I did all the pastor stuff. I couldn't really figure out why the church was not growing. I mean there was excitement, invitation etc but once I left it seemed to drop off.. In the past three years I have read many books, still reading in fact. articles, went to a conference and I continue to draw one conclusion: my role in ministry, no matter where I am is to help/guide people to find their gifts, pulling them together so they might impact the community an world around them, That means everything from my preaching, curriculum, structure, etc needs to be geared toward the mission of making disciples of Jesus Christ so as to transform the world. The more I have come to that realization, I have this feeling that I need to do things that not only are out of the box but not necessarily how the church would have them ordered. I am ordained to word, order, sacrament, and service. Sometimes we have the rules to make sure things don't get out of hand. However, if the structure is not creating space for new ideas, or allowing room for a new way of doing things, should we not step out of the box where we have a little more freedom to think?
It has become harder and harder to "fill committee slots" to the point that many churches end up placing warm bodies in those vacancies. The infrastructure we have the harder it is to make decisions even at the basic level. I mean if we need new carpeting, a group can't just do it or offer to have it done, we seem to need to give permission at more than one meeting. So by the time the decision is made after a couple of months, the group has forgotten about it and moved on. While I need to mentor the committees in their roles, my goal is to get them to the point that no matter who steps into my shoes, they can not only continue the administration but also be able to focus on ministry.
I feel myself in a role in which I do not think pastors have been before and I know I didn't get the "how to turn a church around" course in seminary. So in a sense I am feeling unsteady on my feet trying to lead the people through change. In my reading the turnaround churches ending up losing people who could not handle the change which would set the church free to be who God is calling them to be. I worry about that and maybe I shouldn't as I move in this wilderness of tough times, decreasing denominations and with a few trusted and devoted to this new idea stuff. I don't want to leave people behind. But at what point does moving forward in Christ's name become the goal rather than member retention, coddling the good monetary givers of the church, and maintaining the status quo. When I was ready to move this last time, I told my district superintendent I wanted to go where: they had little to no financial problems, they were ready to move and a group ready to embrace technology in ministry. The DS giggled and told me they didn't think there was any place like that in our conference. OUCH! Well there should be, I thought. When's the last time we created a new church not recreated a church with a merger/closing of churches?
This wilderness place is very disconcerting. Part of me just wants to simply do what the people want me to do. But my faith tells me otherwise. My faith tells me that Jesus always spoke truth to power. He held the light of God in one hand and a sword in the other. The sword was not one for inflicting pain but cutting through all the actions/words and call forth the truth by proclaiming what is false. That is hard. I have been trying to do that and found a couple of unsigned letters given to key people in the church anonymously to challenge me at every corner. I keep feeling like Moses, taking time to meet with God and coming back and seeing the people melting gold for the calf. I feel like Peter sometimes denying Christ, when I don't follow or hesitate for a moment to do what God calls me to do.
This wilderness is not an easy place. I am anxious and yet somehow th Spirit provides confidence to get out of bed and step closer to the goal of bringing the kingdom. I know there are so many that are hungry for Christ. I am listening to Jesus' voice but also asking, "Lord can you help direct me to those people so we can connect them to your love, grace, mercy and hope? Help me to shepherd and protect them and lead them until they can carry the torch and sword for others." Here I am Lord send me.

For some time now the church has not been the big influence in culture it was decades ago. Denominations have not kept up with the times and we seem to be like Rip Van Winkle waking up to an entirely changed world view. People in our churches are struggling with wanting to do church the same way they always have. A.K.A. "The good ole days." We hear "if we only did this" or "if we did that activity again people would come." Years ago people rented there pews. Not only did that provide money to support the church, which was expected, the renters were also expected to be in their pew in church. We have brought that mentality forward into our culture in which individuals and families have a which has a small measure of life available to be a part of a church. While we have all these new machines to "make our work easier" they sometimes cause us to take more time by filling the extra time doing more work/stuff. So we don't have the "Pew Renters" we had before. Now we have people who are "Time Sharers." They may be in there one week and not the following. Their children may only be able to attend Sunday School/Christian Ed two out of four Sundays a month because of other activities. The question is not how we get people into the church? They are not the salvation of the church. We know who is....It is Jesus Christ. The question is why would anyone come to our church and why would they stay? It is our job in faith to share Christ with those outside the walls. These Time Sharers are hungry for meaning in their life but may not be able to be a Pew Renter. That doesn't mean they count any less nor does it mean they are any less hungry than those who are there every week. We need to find ways to have the most impact for those every week but also for those who are there every other week as well. We need to move, quoting Rev. Mike Slaughter from Ginghamsburg UMC, from "Broadcasting" to "Narrowcasting." (Thanks Mike for the words) It means sharing those weekly services not only in the church but outside to individuals/families who cannot physically be there. The technology out today gives people, who can't physically be there, the opportunity to watch/listen to a service by streaming video on a website or setting up podcasts/MP3 files for people to download/listen to. These are not problems to be solved but conditions in which we live that require us to do things differently to reach the most people we can. Denominational free fall is not a problem to be solved but a condition we need to live in and through by adding ways to proclaim the message rather than focus on something which is not a problem to solve. We like solving problems but we can't change conditions. We must live, move and have our being in this wilderness time.
I read a story in a book by author Laurie Beth Jones called "Jesus: Life Coach." In the first chapter she tells the story of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson sleeping in the woods camping. Holmes wakes up and says, "Watson! Wake up! What do you see?!" Watson wakes up and said, "Sherlock I see the North Star, which has helped guide us to this spot. Beyond that I see the Big Dipper and the tail of Orion. I also can make out the edges of the Milky way and know that there are universes expanding beyond that." Sherlock elbowed him and said, "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!" (Thanks Laurie Beth for the story)
We spend all of our time trying to maintain the institution and local churches worry about maintaining the order and mortar they know. All the while, Jesus has come as a thief in the night and stolen the tent. We need to be more like Watson and see our current reality and begin to move(doing God's will in our community) rather than Holmes who was only worried about the tent(institution/mortar).
So let's shoot for the stars not look down at our feet. Being the church is a journey not a destination. Look at your bible maps of the Exodus. It was not a straight line and sometimes they had to go backwards to go forwards. Whatever happens, let's trust our faith in the one who is the way, the truth and the life. I pray Jesus steals your tent too.

I began my week by reviewing the scripture from Lectionary from Acts 5 for Sunday and got this:

Last night we had our Tenebrae/Good Friday Service. Tenebrae meaning shadows. We start with a bright sanctuary. We join in a call to worship, opening Hymn, "We Sang Our Glad Hosannas" only singing four verses, then a prayer. At which point the church lights are turned off, with the only light coming from the candles (14) & the Christ Candle. I use powerpoint to bring the images forth from each of the scriptures being read. As I proceed through I felt the emotion. This is no happy service as we hear the story of betrayal, abandonment, and agony of the events.