I have a wonderful and talented friend named John. Last week his parents came in to town. I got a chance to meet and gab with them for awhile. Had some marvelous conversation! They came to our 9PM Christmas eve service. Wait. Let me have you read the story that needs to be told from the words of another member of the church.
        "Today in church (12/26), a friend  was anxious to share a Christmas Eve  event that she experienced during the 9 pm service here. With her permission, I explained that I would like to share it with others. She had turned around at one point in the Christmas Eve service to welcome two strangers, a couple, to our service. She also commented on the gentleman's beautiful singing voice.
He handed her a dollar...........
         He quietly explained that he had been waiting for someone to welcome them there that night . He had decided he would hand a dollar bill to the first person to extend that welcome.
What would have prompted a visitor to our church to feel the need to thank someone for simply welcoming them? What does that say about us? It isn't pleasant to hear that our church has a reputation for not being a "friendly" church--like it or not, we do have that reputation in our community. Some would argue that to not be true. Consider this then...the same couple had arrived early for the service. We made some coffee and invited them to sit sat in fellowship hall while they waited for services to begin. As they sat there, fellowship hall was bustling with activity along with choir rehearsing for service. Someone asked them if they were there to join the choir. They explained they were not and sadly, that was the only conversation they had. One or two said “hello” but no conversation.
         That should be the beginning and the end of a lesson in how we have work we have to do in our church, to work harder at welcoming all who are here to worship with us, be it a visitor or  "regulars". However, that's not the end of the story. There is something to add to this--a few weeks earlier the very same person that had turned around to greet our Christmas Eve visitors had herself broken down in tears-- she was sad and feeling unwelcome here in her own church even though she is active and has attended church here for several years. Isn't it ironic that she was the one blessed to have been acknowledged for her kindness toward our guests?
       The end of the story? The husband of the special couple in attendance Christmas Eve is a noted author who holds a PhD in counseling psychology. He has written several books including a book about churches and small groups. The book focuses on the success of small groups helping to form personal relationships and in turn how those personal relationships help to nourish churches. Additionally, the close bonds that are formed help strengthen the congregation. Once the congregation is strong, focus can then be given to our mission of making disciples of Jesus Christ in order to transform the world.
       Wait! Where have we heard this before? We hear it still! How ironic is it that God brought these visitors, this person who greeted them and this story to our congregation on the most holy of nights. If we are waiting for a "sign" to help us in our direction, I do truly believe God has given us one huge nudge! So what are we waiting for? There are opportunities for each of us to help turn this around"


       Too often we say, "Oh of course we're a friendly church." But what that really means is friendly to those who are already here, who look like us, talk like us and have the same interests as us. Creating a welcoming and hospitable environment is hard and intentional work. Churches only have one opportunity to make a first and lasting impression. What do you want that to be for your church? cold and lifeless? Or warm and welcoming? 
          Maybe it means developing a usher/greeter program which helps the pastor identify those who are visiting. Have them sign the guest book. Give them a gift with information about the church. Maybe before the people talk to anyone they know they seek out those they don't. Maybe you begin with an outreach group who comes to the services and looks for those who are new, engages them in conversation and then introduces them to the pastor. Here that has happened many times. People have taken the time to go out of their way to introduce themselves and them introduce me. 


      Not only do we need to do better at making a lasting first impression, but we must learn to move quickly. By that I mean once the service ends most visitors leave the service in THREE minutes. So once your service ends, unless you are intentional, they will be out the door before you can get to them. I went to a church while on vacation once. I knew about four or five people in that congregation including the pastor. After the service, I said hello to pastor and slowly moved to get my coat. I wasted more time, by fumbling with my jacket etc. I was there over 3 minutes after the service had ended. I even stood looking around as if lost. Not one person, including the pastor, came over to me to invite me to coffee fellowship or engage me. That seen happens far too often in our churches. 
   So for 2011....have your church make a resolution to be more intentional, more hospitable, more welcoming to those who are seeking that which men and women and children have sought for so long: the love and hope and fellowship that is a part of the Body of Christ!
Happy New Year!

In 1977, Mel Brooks made a movie called, "High Anxiety." In the movie he plays Dr. Richard Thorndyke who appointed to the "Psychoneurotic Institute for the Very, VERY Nervous." He ends up framed for murder and has to not only fight the charges but also his fear of heights in order to clear himself. Here's a link to the film's trailer: http://youtu.be/mT8XumoYomE  In the movie he sings a song: 


"Whenever you're near High Anxiety It's you that I fear
My heat's afraid to fly, It's crashed before, But then you take my hand, My heart starts to soar
Once more
High Anxiety, It's always the same, High Anxiety, It's you that I blame
It's very clear to me, I've to give in, High Anxiety, You win"


Our churches today are suffering some major anxiety these days. Recently I have been reading a book by Peter Steinke called, "Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times." He speaks to the idea of leaders, both clergy & laity, learning to be that "non-anxious" presence in the midst of all the anxiety in the church. He calls us to examine ourselves, know triggers and be able to be non-anxious even if the focus is on us. He mentions 13 Common Triggers leading to anxiety. Steinke says one can create chaos. But usually five or six are set off together leading to anxious reactivity. (All points come from Steinke, Peter,  Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times;The Alban Institute; 2006; ISBN-10: 1566993288):
Triggers: 


1) Money: Follow the money trail-how to raise it, how to distribute it, How to manage when there isn't enough.


2) Sex, Sexuality: As sources of identity and self-expression, questions and differences pertaining to sex set off survival reactions.


3) Pastor's Leadership Style: Sometimes this is a euphemism for not liking the pastor. Sometimes it;s a genuine concern that the needed leadership is not happening. Sometimes clergy and other leaders fail to determine the kind of leadership needed. 


4) Lay Leadership Style: Lay leaders can run the spectrum from hands-off to hands on, from enabling to threatening, from expressing a failure of nerve to demonstrating strength of conviction and courage.


5)Growth, Survival: Congregations may be anxious because growth is slow or worship attendance declines.


6)Boundaries: Boundary problems could include how much of a congregation's resources are given away and how much retained locally; people overstepping their authority; misuse of finances. 


7) Trauma, Transition: A Key or nodal even happens with a significant emotional impact, such as storm damage to the church structure or the retirement of a pastor after a long tenure. 


8)Staff Conflict, Resignation: When the church staff is at odds or a staff member departs under a cloud of suspicion or fir unexpected reasons, people become upset.


9)Harm Done to a Child, Death of a Child: Congregations are children sensitive. If a child is hurt or if one dies, there is a sense of helplessness: we cannot even protect or defend those in our care. 


10) Old and New: Tension brews when considering a new hymnal to replace an old hymnal, to change the old time of worship, or to modify the receiving of the sacrament.


11) Contemporary and Traditional Worship: This is a special case of old and new. Immense emotionality is connected to styles of worship. The first murder in sacred history, the story of Cain & Abel, involved worship.


12)Gap Between the Ideal and the Real: When high and lofty ideas are betrayed by reality or when a focus on mission degenerates into a focus on self-concerns, people become disturbed.


13) Building, Construction, Space, and Territory: Add or tear down a building; modify existing space; move offices into a new area; sell land or parsonage; relocate. Anxiety will rise.


Where I currently am serving I would have to say we are over the five or six. I can see the church in just over half of these points. I am just learning to be the non-anxious presence. Not an easy task for sure. The key is learning about ourselves through a process of differentiation. 


Differentiation is the process whereby we move toward a more intentional and thoughtful way of living. It is relying less and less on our automatic responses. All of this takes place in our relationships. There we balance indiviuality and togetherness when we interact with others. Steinke says we need to develop this process within ourselves to be able to:
think clearly
act on principle
define self by taking a position
come to know more about our own instinctive reactions to others
learn to regulate those actions
stay in contact with others 
choose a responsible course of action.


In the movie, Mel Brooks had to find within himself why he was so afraid of heights. He was able to do that through talking with someone. Once he realized where this fear came from, this anxiety, he was able to move forward. 


Our churches are no different. We need to examine them and ourselves. Where are the reactive triggers we have or have seen in our interactions with others? I was in a meeting recently where a large part was devoted to me being a mis-fit. (last week's post). It would have been easy to be reactive and say something like, "I know you are but what am I? Infinity!" But I sat there and asked for God's peace just to be able to hear what they were saying. After the meeting there were some who came to me, angry, upset, even to the point of crying. I spoke with them in a non-anxious way. I attempted to calm them by telling them we have a choice. We can either let it fester within us and cause anxiety or...we can wait for a new day to dawn. The sun came up the next day, there was work to be done and...it was done. 


Whether it be the cloud of presence or fire at night. Whether it be the peace which surpasses understanding or the deep abiding presence of Christ, we are called as heirs, disciples to stand together when the anxiety comes. May we can sing the song Richard Thorndyke sang in a different way:


"Whenever you're near High Anxiety 
It's you that I fear
My heat's afraid to fly, It's crashed before, 
But Lord you take my hand, My heart starts to soar
Once more
High Anxiety, It's always the same, High Anxiety, It's you that I blame
It's very clear to me, I've to give in, Christ Jesus, You win"


May you be the non-anxious presence for the people you serve, now and always....Amen.

 I have been sick for a little bit. I always know when I have a fever. Used to be when you went to the doctor, it was open up and say "AHHH" so they could take your temp. Now it is one button click in the ear. It is quick painless. So is the other way but it sometimes reminds you of feeling sick holding the thermometer under your tongue. Whereas the ear thermometer is pretty quick and may not make you feel that way. It's like well maybe we're not sick. Does that make sense? I see the same thing in the church.


We don't really want to feel sick so we find some other way of saying we're ok and it's everyone else that is sick. It's as if we are in denial about the state of our churches.
I have done a lot of reading over the last several years regarding church health. I prefer that term as opposed to growth. We need to be  healthy to grow. I read a recent article from the Barna Group who did research throughout 2010. The picture of the church is not good. It seems we are turning inward more than outward, we really do not know what we stand for, can't articulate it and as people want to get involved in their community to help, often they are not seeking out the church as a starting point. OUCH!
So I say open up and say "AHHH" Church. Let's take our temperatures. Are you on fire with the fever of the Spirit? Or are the embers going out and unable to reignite? Does this describe your Gospel temperature?:

1) Is spiritual formation essential to many of the folks in your church or an activity only pursued by some?
2) Are the relationships in your community of the kin-dom? Are they honoring, forgiving, loving, caring, mutual and generative?
3) A deep concern for the circumstances and spiritual well-being of those beyond your doors? A concern which leads all to action?

Or is this your temperature?:

1) Concern for growing the church rather than witnessing to faith?
2) Running the church rather than forming disciples?
3) Being people led rather than being Spirit led?
4) Participating in mission projects without having a mission?
5) Fixing rather than creating?

So where do you fall on the temperature scale? Want to know more? Read the book "Pathway to Renewal" By Daniel Smith & Mary Sellon. It is an excellent source of information on how to develop readiness, begin visioning and living into the vision.

If we do not do something in our churches, will we hear these words from Revelation?:

Revelation 3:16 (The Message)

Sorry for such a long time between posts...the reason is as long as the time between posts...ANYWAY....
Church #1 This week I was invited to participate in a funeral for a young woman who died much too young but was wiser beyond her years (23). The pastor of the church invited me on behalf of the family. I had served that church for five years. They touched my life as much as they told me I touched their lives. There was a spirit of celebration in the sanctuary that day. I also felt the warmth of the friends I had made there. It was like coming home. They always had a spirit connected to God's Spirit to reach out, invite and share the message of hope they had found in Christ. They live out their lives shining the light of Christ for others to see outside the walls of the church. They are living out the mission of the church to make disciples of Jesus Christ so as to transform the world. They are working towards mission, relationships with one another, brosthers and sisters and on a journey.

Church #2 This church is split and has been for some time. It is divided along on several lines as I see it.

Church Building or Church Mission: There are those who wish to just come to church because that is what they have always done. All the activities of the church are directed to raise money for the building and bills. Church is a noun. Others say that our activities ought to be focused on finding ways to communicate the message of the Gospel in our community and more impostantly to each other. Church for these folks is a verb.

Members or Strangers: Members are those who have been here for other. they prefer that the newer attendees learn the ways of doing things before they get involved. Others want to be involved but are discouraged. On top of that members see these new folk as the salvation of the church in that they have money to contribute to the bills. The newere folk are also chastised for not coming more often. Many of those newer folk see themselves on a journey not necessarily attached to a place. They are looking for meaning and purpose, not just a place to belong/membership.

Family or Friends: Many of the folk have been friends for a long time. So long in fact, they see each other as family. Yet that is more on the surface. There is a lack of intimacy, vulnerability with each other. So while they call themselves friends/family, that bond is very flimsy. They very rarely reach outside this circle of friends. Love is a noun for them. Others see each other as true brothers and sisters. They share in each others lives, are vulnerable with one another and go the extra mile to make each other feel loved and welcome. Love for this group is a verb.

Belief or Faith: While both groups believe, the first group sees that as the point. I believe. I come to church to strengthen my belief not to be challeneged to live it out in faith. It is enough that I am here, in my church, giving my money and participating in activities. I don't necessarily need to know the Bible except the story cover to cover is about God and us. It is a book of history and moral lessons. The only way things get done is through us, we can trust God but.....
Others have belief and gratitude and thus from that live out their faith. They are willing to trust God and do what they are called to do, leaving some things up to God. They know that they would not be able to do any of what they do with their gifts and talents were it not for God. They see themselves as partners with God and each other to bring the kingdom and share it with the least, the lost and each other. The Message is a living, breathing and active part in their lives. These folks remind me of eating the scroll and taking the words into themselves to learn, grow and nourish themselves.

How does one help the people heal from these rifts? How do we come together in Christian fellowship when we seem so far apart?

I have had some spiritual battles lately with one of the groups about who we are who they are and what we are called to be together. Someone was at a gathering with me and some of the folks from the church feeling like outsiders. That person shared with me later that as he looked around, my ministry was attracting the same people that Jesus called us to. It was not a surprise to him but it made more sense as to why some want me out of the church. These are not the people they want in their church.

Please pray for these people that we might find common ground in our faith & belief so much so that we can move past our differences to impact each other and the community around us.